Communication is one of the foundation blocks of a happy, healthy and safe relationship. Communication helps us to understand our partner better. It also helps us to grasp the changing patterns of the relationship, the shifting perspectives and their opinions. A healthy space for communication enables us to be more emotionally invested in the relationship. “Ask your partner if it’s a good time to talk about one issue. If it isn’t, find a time that is. Share with them what the issue is in a brief and concise way, without complaining, criticising them, or focusing on what they did. Instead, focus on your own thoughts and feelings. As the partner, repeat back what you’ve heard your partners share with you. Use their words and try to get clear on what their specific thoughts and feelings are. If the mirroring was correct, send a message of appreciation like, wow, you really heard me. Thanks so much. If the mirroring was not correct, make small adjustments. Then switch and the second partner begins to share,” wrote Relationship Specialist Rose Viggiano.
Past conversations: When we constantly try to prove what was said and not said in past conversations, we keep going back to past trauma and experiences that are not pleasant to recall. This further accelerates conflict and increases the distance between two partners.
Downplaying an issue: Any issue, be it big or small, if it affects the partner in the relationship, it is worth discussing about, downplaying a situation just because it did not affect us much is not a healthy way of addressing difficult issues.
Resentment: In any relationship, resentment can cause a lot of harm. Instead of submitting to the sense of resentment, we should ask for time and sit with our partner and try to address things together.
Ignoring feelings: We should not ignore our own feelings and try to seek the approval of our partner. It can later lead to pent-up emotions and frustrations.
Assumptions: Instead of assuming that they should know, we should make clear conversations to let them know about our needs and expectations.
