A relationship is a two-way street. Be it understanding each other, putting effort, clarifying things, making a healthy space for communication or having fun – all of it should be divided between two people involved in the relationship. A healthy and happy relationship consists of two people putting in equal amount of time, effort and energy in the relationship. However, sometimes that may not be the case. Often, a relationship can feel like a burden on one set of shoulders when the other partner tries to escape the responsibilities. This pattern, when continued for a significant period of time, can make us have doubts on the relationship. “Having doubts about your relationship can feel highly unsettling. But what if it’s not all bad? What can your doubts teach you? How can you use them to be more honest with yourself and your partner? What are your doubts trying to alert you to,” wrote Relationship Coach Marlena Tillhon.
The Coach further noted down seven signs to know if the partner is not pulling the weight in the relationship:’
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They defer making decisions: The partner may try to escape the hard work of making decisions in the relationship. They may try to push it our way, so that in case something goes wrong, we are to be held responsible.
They don’t address problems: After conflicts or arguments, we are always the ones who try to address the problems, as the partner does not bring them up.
They make impulsive decisions: We are always burdened with the expectations of picking up after them as they go on to make impulsive decisions.
They delay doing chores: Daily chores are meant to be divided in a relationship. However, the partner always delays in doing their part of the work so that we do their bit as well.
They don’t seek to improve themselves: They live off us and do not seek to make a career for themselves, as they are too comfortable to live under our wing.
They always have an excuse: When confronted about their mistakes, they always have an excuse to get away from it.
They don’t manage their moods: They expect us to walk on eggshells around them as they do not want to address their triggers and their mood swings.
