Rupture and repair in relationships: The roadmap of addressing conflicts

In a relationship, conflicts are natural. Contrary to how we view conflicts, they are actually healthy as they help us to understand the perspectives of the partner. It also helps us to understand the person better. However, conflicts are meant to be addressed in a healthy way. Unresolved conflicts, left for a long time, can lead to frustration and resentment in the relationship. “Repair in a relationship refers to the process of resolving conflicts, addressing misunderstandings, and rebuilding trust after a disagreement or hurtful event. Conflict is inevitable so learning how to repair it is incredibly important,” wrote Therapist Lucille Shackleton.

Unresolved conflicts, left for a long time, can lead to frustration and resentment in the relationship.(Unsplash)

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Acknowledge the rupture: The first step of addressing and repairing a conflict is to acknowledge that there is a rupture in the relationship. When we identify the rupture, it makes it easier for us to delve deeper and know how we would like to address it.

Seek to understand: Instead of resisting it, we should seek to understand why the rupture happened and what are the underlying reasons. This will create better awareness about the conflict and take us further to the path of addressing it.

Apologise: The next step is to apologise, after we have identified the mistakes that we have made in the relationship. When we apologise, we seek to understand the damage we have caused to the partner.

Be patient: Some conflicts may take time and expecting them to instantly repair may worsen the situation. We need to learn to be patient with addressing conflicts and give the time and space it requires. We need to be patient with each other.

Reconnect: by spending quality time together and creating new memories, we can reconnect with our partner emotionally, mentally and physically. Creating emotional intimacy helps in strengthening the relationship and getting through difficult times easier.

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